A Halloween Mistory Solved by the Incredible Sluething of a Pair of UVa Students

So, there appears to be some strange goings-on at an abandoned house near my Grandfather's place in Buena Vista, Va. Pumpkins have been appearing, moving around, and disappearing, black cats prowling, and Ravens flying overhead - all in the weeks immediately preceding Halloween. Well, my Grandfather, being the inquisitive one, has challenged the family to solve the mystery and report our findings. Theresa and I, having consulted UVa's foremost paranormal expert Dr. Spookenstien and researching the history of Buena Vista, wrote this solution:

THE VIRGINIA PUMPKIN WITCH
Randal and Theresa Miller

Daniel Hartson is usually a very obedient student. But after attending Elder Cottle’s Eternal Marriage class at Southern Virginia University, he has become desperate to get married. So desperate, in fact, that all the girls at his school have become weary of his multiple advances and he cannot find anyone to accompany him to the harvest ball. Undeterred, Daniel checks out a book on the dark arts from SVU’s library, and goes about learning a spell that will allow him to summon the spirit of one of SVU’s former students, so that he may take her to the ball.

Sally Crumpkin was the heir to the Virginia’s largest pumpkin empire, Crumpkin Pumpkins. She was a buxom young lady with curly orange hair and a friendly smile who attended Southern Seminary (SVU's predecessor) for almost a year before her mysterious disappearance in 1907. Of the school’s many activities, Sally enjoyed most the croquet matches she played with her friends, which was the very activity was doing the last time anyone ever saw her. During that fateful match, her friend struck her ball and sent it rolling down a hill and in a dark thicket of trees. Sally entered the forest after it.

The Buena Vista Witch was the town’s most feared resident since she first arrived in 1897. After a full 10 years of terrorizing the neighborhood, she concocted a plan to gain immortality. When she was ready to cast her immortality spell, she set up her cauldron in a dark thicket of trees, added various ingredient (including one large pumpkin) to the brew, and begun chatting. The spell was nearly complete when a small red ball entered her sanctuary, followed by a beautiful young redhead. The commotion proved disastrous: the witch mispronounced a critical part of the incantation, which altered the spell. Both the Witch’s and Sally’s spirit became trapped in the pumpkin forever.

Daniel Hartson carefully reads aloud the words from his book, keeping in his mind the image of Sally Crumpkin, whose painting he saw in the school lobby. As he finished the spell, smoke filled his room and the sky above SVU darkens considerably. Brilliant flashes of lightening are the only illumination seen for some time. Daniel faints from the smoke and his classmates run out of their dorms in a panic. When he finally awakes, the school had calmed down. Daniel was disappointed to see in his room, not a beautiful girl, but a large and ominous pumpkin.

Little did Daniel know, he had succeeded in summoning summoned Sally Crumpkin. Her spirit, along with the Buena Vista Witch’s, is inside the pumpkin that had appeared in his dorm. The BV Witch, who had already subdued Sally’s spirit, immediately used her magic to overcome Daniel’s will. Under her influence, he took the pumpkin and moved into the abandoned house that was once occupied by his foe. Once there, BV Witch began to gather her strength for All Hallows Eve, when she will escape from her prison. Meanwhile, because of Daniel and Sally’s mutual captivity, they are able to communicate and soon fall in love. If only there was some brave soul who could defeat the Witch and free the lovers from her spell before it is too late.

The End

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Do They Know It's Halloween?

I sure hope they do, or else they might think that Theresa and my costumes reflected the way we really dress. This year, we decided to dress up as the most frightening thing that we could think of: Emo kids! (For those who have not been to high school in the last little while, Emo is a horrible genre of music consisting of 20 or 30 something guys who still think they are 16 and whine-sing about their latest girl trouble. see Dashboard Confessional, Something Corporate). The idea just came to me on Saturday, and we just went with it. Overall, I thought our costumes were good, although I was a little uncomfortable in those pants!

So, newly emo-ed, Theresa and I set out last night and had a great time with a bunch of kids who definitely did know it was Halloween. At least I hope they knew it was Halloween, since they set up an elaborate haunted house, which would be strange if they thought it was easter. The house itself was great, but one thing that was missing was Daniel Harker, who was Theresa's 'ol haunted house buddy: when they went to one in Edmonton a few years ago, Danny H would alway cower behind Theresa, and then scream and scream when something jumped out at them. I actually think they had a TV in the works, where those two would travel the world investigating haunted houses, screaming and running around for an hour a week. Its a shame NBC dropped it at the last minute--too frightening for children, they said.

After the haunted house, we then headed for the Law School's Halloween party, but it appears the police forgot it was Halloween and had showed up to take the 'trick' out of 'trick or treat.' So we decided to just keep walking by. All and all, good fun. No picnic in the graveyard, but you can only expect so much, right?

The title of this post, by the way, comes from my favorite Halloween Songs:

The Stars Were Out In Full Glory At DC's 9:30 Club

In the first year of Law School, they scare you half to death, in the second they work you half to death, and in the third they bore you half to death. I heard this statement recently and have decided that it presents a very accurate portrayal of my life; so, while last year I must have been too frightened to post every few days, currently, with my job search, moot court, Health Law Association, and classes, there seems to be precious little time to share my life with all of you.

That being said, Theresa and I did manage to find enough time to drive up to DC and attend last night's Stars concert with the Cummings. For months, Theresa and I have been talking up this concert, so when the night finely arrived, Katy and Aaron must have had the impression that it would be the defining moment of their entire lives. Needless to say, we were quite nervous that the show would not be as good as we promised. But it was. There was just as much over-the-top theatrics and amazing music as we had described. One reason we love Stars is that the male singer, Torque, is much more of a diva than the female (Amy Milan, who showed off her amazing voice last night), and he certainly lived up to his reputation last night, over-acting like a drama-kid who never really grew up. At least he used a hand-made t-shirt that said "I 'heart' Menomena," apologized to the band he accidently insulted during his diva-spat with Pitchfork Media.

The Concert was actually broadcast on npr, so you can listen to it here. You might even be able to hear us cheer.

And to continue living up to our goal of only eating at restaurants that we cannot find in Edmonton (ie. no nation-wide chains), we all went to Ben's Chili Bowl, a famous little hole-in-the-wall establishment that serves amazing chili and plays old-school rap. The place, which is apparently quite famous, is frequented by movie stars, and, as of last night, us as well.

Law Student Beach Vacation Almost Ends Trajecally: Sources Say

Do law students even get vacations?! This is probably the question that came to your mind upon glancing at the post title above, and I am happy to inform you that yes, fortunately there are a few dates that UVa law has set aside as a break from studies. One of these breaks was last week, so Theresa and I, along with a troupe of four other law student families (ranging from 1Ls to 3Ls) pounced on the opportunity to catch a few sun rays and relax after what has proven to be a busy month of school in the Outer Banks of North Carolina. And let me tell all of you who chose not to join us, did you ever miss out. The weather was perfect, the water was warm, the beaches were not crowded and the company was brilliant (Since wacthing a couple of Brittish movies in the last little while, I have decided to pick up a little UK slang, so I use 'brilliant' in a general sense - without, of course, insinuating that our companions were anything less than intelligent).

The trip was not entirely without incident, though, and danger presented itself in the guise of powerful riptides which carried more than one of us off course and shark sightings that may or may not have be imaginary (and fueled by our watching YouTube footage of shark attacks). Fortunately, all of us escaped the treacherous ocean and the world was spared the misfortune of loosing any aspiring lawyers.

This Entry is Irevelant

Today was my second, off-brief round in the prestigious William Minor Lile Moot Court Compitition, and not only am I glad that it is over (for now), but I think it went pretty well. Not one to toot my own horn (although now that I am in America, I should probably get myself into the habit), but if I were asked to give an objected, unbiased recount of how I did tonight, I would have to respond in a police yet authoritative tone that I pretty much nailed that thing better than the Paslode F350S PowerMaster Plus air powered framing nailer. I was calm, well organized, efficient and tighter than a Vise Grip 10" Metric Quick Adjusting Wrench. It was a nice improvement over last week.

I do have to say, though, that the most awkward minutes in this competition are not those spent at the podium, but those that fill the time when the judges are deliberating, and the competitors must wait outside and try to feign a friendly competition, when all you really want to say to your opponent is something like "You call that a rebuttal?! I can't believe that you would even attempt to counter that amazing argument I made." I will however, note here that my opponent did a superb job in his rebuttal, as well as his main argument. My compliments to him.

And in completely unrelated news: I AM SO EXITED FOR THE NEW RADIOHEAD ALBUM. It certainly was a nice surprise to discover today that the new album, which looked to be delayed for another year will, in fact, be released in only 10 days. And that they are slamming another nail (with the Paslode F350S, probably) in the record industry's coffin is, like the album, priceless.

This Post is Moot

Anyone in my immediate family could tell you that I like to argue, and it's true. While in my formative years, I would argue about any and every topic under the sun, whether or not I agreed with the position I advocated and regardless of the amount of knowledge (or lack thereof) I had on the topic. In High School, I once, without knowing anything about Intellectual Property, argued for the complete elimination of copyrights (information wants to be free!) with my mother, who was taking a graduate class on the topic. Unfortunately, I have not been able to continue my near constant debates with Theresa because her responses to my theoretical sparring (usually consisting of pokes and/or tickles) are just too persuasive to rebut.

Fortunately for my internal advocate (some people have inner children, I have an internal attorney - I like to piture him as a cute little toddler with a suit and briefcase), the annual William Minor Lile Moot Court Competition began here at UVa this month, and last night I had the great pleasure of participating in my first oral argument. Sure, the judges posed much more difficult questions than my sisters, who quickly grew tired of my uninvited debates, but I was also more prepared than I was back when I took on arguments simply because I could not let any statement of opinion go unopposed. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't nervous, and once during my response I was convinced that I must have sounded just like Miss Teen South Carolina, but all and all, I think I did OK.

And for all of you who believe that Moot Court is pointless (ahem, ANG see back page thumbs down), you really have to get in touch with your inner advocate.

Primer: Canadian Indie Rock

While I don't usually don't post to merely tell you about something someone else has written, preferring instead to only encourage reading what I have written, this following article is so important, I believe everyone needs to look it over at least once.

Primer: Canadian Indie Rock

More Existential than Kierkegaard and Nietzsche Put Together

I have briefly mentioned before how much I like albums that are created as a complete whole, instead of three-minute pop songs that are created as much to sell ring-tones as they are to convey an artistic expression. A good album, much like a novel or movie, should present a continuous whole, designed to be enjoyed from beginning to end, with a distinct opening, middle, climax and conclusion, with the songs building off of and referring to each other to create a whole that is much more than the sum of its parts.

My previous two musical obsessions, Sunset Rubdown's Random Spirit Lover, and Frog Eyes' Tears of the Valedictorian where just such albums, but my current infatuation takes the whole "album as a whole" thing a bit further than these. Toronto's Rock Plaza Central's album Are We Not Horses is a concept album so ridiculously outrageous that it could justifiably be mentioned in the same sentence as Rush's 2012, or Supertramp's Crime of the Century (and of course, any sentence mentioning Supertramp should also include the words 'totally awesome'). The album is about, and get this, six-legged, mechanical horses who, during the great war between the humans and angels, believe they are actually real horses, and the existential dilemma that ensues when their allies, the humans, try to tell them that they are not. Add into the mix a poignant love story between an angel and one of these mechanical horses and a singer who sounds like he has no business perusing a music career, and you've got yourself the best darn album I've heard in a while. (Well, at least since I listened to Random Spirit Lover a few weeks ago).

And if that is not enough to rush out to your local record store and purchase this equine masterpiece, check out this non-horse-related music video for their wonderful single, which features one of Canada's great home-grown children's shows, Nanalan:

My Children Be Joyful
The MP3 is here

Stand Proud, Loonie, Stand Proud

Congratulations Canadian Dollar! For the first time in my life, you have regained your previously lofty position as the stronger (or, at least equal) of the two North American Dollars! It looks like you're not so loony any more. Maybe this will help convince some of our American friends who believe otherwise that Canada is indeed part of the G8.

But, because I have been accused by Theresa of always painting too rosy of a picture of my beloved motherland and not presenting the more balanced opinion that she prefers to give out (which is not because she loves Canada any less - if anything, she is more patriotic than I, but I guess a little more realistic), I point you to this objective article in the Globe and Mail.

Run Free High Horse! You Are No Longer Needed!

I caved, and I cannot be more ashamed of myself. After months of announcing of Theresa and I's proud, TV-less existence, the Miller family home is now bathed in the glow of the infinite cathode-ray tube wasteland that is television. Although "infinite" is probably not the most accurate description of our situation, though, since have merely boughten an antenna and therefore, only receive about 5 channels.

I place the blame our recent decent off of our high horse squarely on the shoulders of one man, and that man is Micheal Scott. "But" you protest, "Micheal Scott is a fictional character." And to that I reply, "Precisely... precisely."

The only reason we have succumb to this depravity is so we can tune in for the new season of "The Office," after recently viewing the entire third season on DVD. Oh well, its hard to be too righteous. (And of course, considering the total lack of quality entertainment that can be provided by television, I doubt we will be watching it much)

The New Broken Social Sc... No Wait, Kevin Drew Album

Randal: I would wager that most people who are anticipating the new album Broken Social Scene Presents Kevin Drew, Spirit If... are more excited about the Broken Social Scene Presents part than the Kevin Drew part. And yes, with Kevin (one of the leaders of the broken scene) and a slew of Broken Scenesters as guests, this new album does sound like a new Broken Social Scene album. But (and I am showing my true Canadian Indie Rock nerd status here) I would say that it sounds more like a KC Accidental* album. The music is a lot more mellow than BSS's recent outings, and it has the low-key feel of a post rock album, but with Kevin's (and a whole bunch of other people's) vocals all over it. But it just goes to show what I've been saying all along: Broken Social Scene (and in this case, Kevin Drew) has created a whole new genre: post post rock! But do I like it? Sure: 3.5/5.

*KC Accidental was the band, formed by Kevin Drew and Charles Spearin, that later evolved into Broken Social Scene.

Theresa: I enjoyed this Broken Social... oh no wait, I mean Kevin Drew album. I was kind of disappointed that BSS would choose to showcase Kevin Drew first, seeing as he is always quite prominent on their albums. I mean there are a lot of other amazing members in BSS that don’t get the recognition they deserve. I do like how he had a lot of guests on this album (most of them from another band that rhymes with croken social scene), my favourite has to be Tom Cochrahn, Canada’s bad boy (well he really isn’t that bad: he has done stuff for AIDS in Africa, and he sings that “So this is Christmas" song; but he also has messy hair and wears jeans, which is about as bad as you can get in Canada). All in all it was an ok album. 4.5/7 (3.2/5).

UVa Has No Class (or at least, only has as much class as any other school)

Approximately one year ago, I rousingly gave my approval to UVa's policy of wearing ties and/or sun dresses to football games. At that time I did add the qualification that this policy is being replaced by another, much less classy dress code of orange T-shirts, but noticed at the games I attended, the tie and dress wearing students still represented a respectable percentage of the crowd. This year, however, I am sad to report that significantly less students opted on continuing that noble tradition, and even the stadium's giant score board sent out an overt t-shirt promoting message to the masses. Now, this might not seem like a big deal to you, and I myself will gladly admit that a t-shirt, whatever the color, will keep any football fan much cooler than a dress shirt and slacks, but I see this change as yet another step away from the romantic age of yesteryear and towards an uncreative, conformist and overly informal future. What happened to individualism? Where did our sense of style go? Alas, it appears to have washed away in that ever encroaching sea of orange that is so vigorously promoted by UVa's athletic department, which, having already sucked a fair amount of class from this scholarly institute already, is probably now planning up ways to add more evidence against creationism by encouraging sports fans to hoot and hollar and generally act very similar to our less-evolved simian relatives. But, then again, I guess sports fans already do that...

And speaking of apes, as you may have deduced with you expanded capacity for rational thought, Theresa and I had the pleasure of attending UVa Football's home opener this Saturday, if for no other reason but to introduce my Canadian wife to the spectacle that is (American) College Football, which I myself had only first experienced last September. All and all, it was an enjoyable afternoon, despite my previous comments, and as was observed to me, you haven't really experienced the USA until you have experienced College Football.

There's No Fighting In The War Room!

And now, a special sneak peak into what goes on during a top secret officers meeting in any one of the numerous law school's student organizations (assuming, of course, that there actually are meetings, as opposed to the President dumping all of the work onto one poor soul to do completely herself):

Prez: Ok guys, we have a new year upon us and a bunch of gullible 1Ls who signed up willy-nilly for our mailing list, mainly because the felt obligated after taking our free candy at the activities fair. We've got to rope them in before some other indistinguishable club takes 'em!

VP: Right! I say, we hold a welcoming activity the first week of classes and lure them all in with promises of free BBQ/Pizza/Sandwiches etc.

Secretary: Yeah, but isn't every other organization doing the same thing during that same week?

Prez: Who cares! We'll just take all of their free time--Law students will do anything to get ahead!

All: Mwa Ha Ha Ha!

That being said, our Health Law Association Fall Kick-off went off amazingly. We had a bunch of 1Ls who were really interested in Health Law show up, and Professor Riley and I were able to introduce them to what UVa has to offer in this area. And of course, we ate some good wraps and some delicious brownies.

And tonight is the RELLS opening social...

Labour With a "U"

Happy Labour Day Folks (and that is labour with a 'u'). I am currently celebrating this, the final long weekend of summer labouring in the law school, mostly trying to get this Health Law Association Kick-Off off the ground. But do not fear, Theresa and I will not allow this important holiday to go unrecognized, and will be heading off of a picnic later today.

And speaking of picnics, we would like to personally thank (or really, inpersonally thank, since I am doing it on a public blog) Katy and Aaron for the wonderful birthday party they invited us to last Saturday. Theresa and I stood up and showed all of the Americans present that us Canadians are not all wimpy pacifists by together calling upon that great Canadian strength build up by throwing hay bales and surviving -40 weather, and violently cracked open the pinata with two mighty swoops, spilling the contained treasures to the ground. I also was able to effectuate a stunning come-from-behind croquet victory, which despite some theories, was not because us Canadians have more respect for the Queen. Rather, I won because I am pretty much amazing at everything I do.

Back To School

My second year has begun, and here at UVa, this means that I have essentially graduated from Jr. High and moved up to plain-ole regular High. And by this I mean that we are no longer herded around from class to predetermined class with the same set of fellow students, but get the chance to strike out on our own and create a unique schedule. So yes, Section J and I have to now part ways, but not without the fond memories to remember each other by. As of now, I'd say it was a fairly easy break-up, and we are definitely still going to be friends (its not even weird when we see each other in the hallway, or, say at the Section J Welcome Back BBQ). Hopefully our relations will stay congenial, and that I will not have to sometime in the future throw myself a pity-party and dump all of my Section J pictures into a garbage can of flames. But I digress. As of now, my 2L classes are quite satisfactory, but with my courses in Criminal Investigation and Evidence, an outside observer might think that I am on the track to a fulfilling carrier in Criminal Law rather than my previously stated aims at Life Sciences (at least my patent class is on course).

And speaking of Life Sciences, us at the Health Law Association experienced a very pleasing turn out at this year's Activities Fair where we, as well as every other club here at UVa, took a note from the firms attending OGIs and gave away candy and other paraphernalia to lure unsuspecting students to our booth. Unfortunately, our budget did not allow us to purchase those HLA-branded flash drives I wanted and those light up pens we ordered did not come in on time. So we just had to stick to the basics of sun-melted mini-chocolate bars, in the hope that our unhealthy treats will further fuel this nation's obesity epidemic an insure us health lawyers plenty of work for years to come

Trick or Treat?!

We are in the middle of a severe drought. And yet it rained quite heavily last night. In fact, there has been a couple of rain storms this week, and some the previous as well, whose occurrences, along with my observations that Virginia’s plentiful vegetation are green and the soil is still a little damp, has served to teach me a little more about my adopted home: apparently, it doesn’t actually have to be dry for there to be a drought in Virginia. But maybe the problem isn’t so much the lack of rain as much of it being that the moisture comes in discrete bursts; you know – when it rains it pours.

And speaking of a sudden deluge after weeks of relatively little activity, on grounds interviews have begun here at UVa Law. And for those of you who don’t know what this it about, what happens is that hundreds of Law firms come to the school from all over the country to interview us second and third year students in 20 minute intervals for summer positions. This humble author will have at least 23 interviews by the time this week is done, with as many as 8 occurring on the same day. But I, for one, will not join my similarly situated classmates in complaining of the long hours and numerous firms to keep straight, because really, if you look at it in the right way, OGIs can be fun. Yes, I know you may be shocked to read the phrase “OGIs can be fun,” probably for the first time in your life, but hear me out:

OGIs are a lot like Halloween. Although I have previously compared law school interviews to speed dating (and I do not retract this metaphor) this time around I have come to the shocking realization that OGIs bear a striking resemblance to everyone’s favorite pagan celebration. I make this comparison because, just like on the 31st of October, us interviewing students get all dressed up and go from door to door collecting treats from people who we do our very best to win over without making fools of ourselves in the process. That’s right, as far as I can see it, the main objective of these short meetings of forced geniality is to give us students on last chance to collect treats, which include in this case, handfuls of branded trinkets of varying usefulness: highlighters, mini-staplers, flash drives, decks of cards, key chains, note pads, pens, light-up bouncy balls, and of course, candy (the most halloweenish of all promotional items). And at the end of the day, I come home and dump out my computer bag so that Theresa and I can check out my loot and add it to the growing pile. Now if only there was a crotchety old firm (who would probably represent the dental lobby) giving out toothbrushes instead of candy, my Halloween memories would be completely reenacted. All that will be left is for a group of frustrated Law students to attack a particularly unpopular firm’s interview room with eggs and toilet paper. And being at UVa, this wouldn’t even be too surprising.

No, You're a Geeky Baby!

It seems that, based on the number of times that I have taken my relatives - who have all chosen August as the time to visit 'ol sunny Virginia - around the main grounds and through the law school, that I should update my resume to include "full time UVa tour guide." And of course, this being interview time, anything that can give my resume a little boost will be more than welcome.

But anyway, Theresa and I had a second opportunity to visit with Brent and Jodie's kids, however, this time, the parents were also in attendance. On Saturday the whole gang, as well as Grandma and Grandpa, came up to C-ville for a picnic and a tour of our little town. And for Theresa and I, this meant another energy-filled afternoon with Addy, Ben and Matt - and this meant, as any of my relatives could probably guess, hours and hours (and hours) at the pool. I am surprised that those kids have not grown gills due to all of the time they spend in the water. Highlights include Matt's Nirvana-baby-dive (he he always jumps into the pool belly first and sprawled out like the baby on Nirvana's Nevermind album cover), Ben's shockingly loud screams (it turns out that both Theresa and I are, in fact, geeky babies) and Addy's utter enthrallment of a Japanese game show that we flipped to in the hotel last week. We did find that, although we have received condolences from other relatives that we had to actually look after that wild bunch all by ourselves, the kids were not nearly as bad as their reputation. Sure, they had energy to spare, but they really aren't bad kids at all. That being said, I think Theresa and I would be happy to go on a little bit more without children of our own.

One of Those Horrible Clip Shows, But in Blog Form

Seeing how this blog called “Adventures in a Strange and Distant Land,” I feel it appropriate to announce that I have been in this weird and far-off place for an entire year. It seems hard to believe that it has been twelve whole months since I was hanging out in our less-than-luxurious apartment just off of 99th Street in Edmonton, listening to the non-stop roar of that busy street’s traffic and trying to finish off that large sack full of corn that Thersesa’s parents had so graciously brought us up from Taber, the Corn Capital of Canada. And me, not being one to shy away from nostalgia, would like to proceed with a brief month-to-month summary of this intrepid adventurer’s journey that has led me to where I am now.

Aug: the night immediately following a Wolf Parde/Frog eyes concert with my good friend and ex-roommate, Petey, our hero and his wife set of on a cross-continent trip that was very shortly interrupted by the hard-working Montana port officials who thought the Canadian wife of a duel-citizen student was much to suspicious of a character to allow across the border without a visa. So, this adventurer was left on his own to face the crushing boredom of Montana and North Dakota, the demoralizing gridlock of Chicago and the suffocating humidity of the mid-Atlantic. And then school began.

Sept-Oct: This adventurer spent probably the loneliest days of his short life holed up in his half-furnished apartment, trying to gain control of that freight train called Law School, wrestling with the immigration department (thanks to the vastly appreciated help of UVa’s international students office and his uncle Roger), and speaking to his dear sweet wife, who had been forced back home, husbandless, years after moving away, every night. Feeling uncomfortable with the couples in his ward, these months also introduced our hero to the frat-like lifestyle of his fellow students, complete with football tailgates, beer-pong, and, of course, softball.

Nov: Finally marshalling enough resources to make another run for the border, Theresa made a daring trip to Toronto, on the hope that the border patrol in this part of the country would be kinder than their Montana brethren, not having any assurance of success and without any concrete plans in case of failure. Fortunately, she proved to be just as valiant as husband and was able to complete her journey to Charlottesville and spend the next month as a visitor to this great capitalist nation.

Dec-Jan: After (barely) surviving his first round of Law School exams, our hero and his wife traveled back to the blistering Alberta winter for a relaxing Christmas break, happy to visit with their families and see many old friends from their college days.

Feb: Having to stay behind once again because of various immigration details that had to be completed in Canada, Theresa set about preparing for her upcoming interview while our hero makes his triumphant return to UVa Law and begins his 1L job search, landing early the position he was most wanted to score: researching for professor Riley in the field of biotech law and bioethics. Meanwhile, Theresa is off to the east once more, this time braving more than one horrendous blizzard in order to attend her Visa interview in Montreal (that lasted no more than 5 minutes – yeah 7 months of waiting for a 5 minute interview) and then continue on to her new home in the Old Dominion as an official US Permanent Resident.

Mar-May: The newly reunited family finally acquaintances themselves with the other couples in the ward and sets about beginning a normal life together, which, for our hero, means actually purchasing such items as a bed and garbage cans etc and finding time amidst the hours that he spends with his wife to actually finish his first year of law school.

Jun-Aug: With Theresa working at the student health center and our hero neck deep in the latest articles on synthetic biology and animal transgenesis, the new family enjoys a relaxing summer visiting their grandparents, exploring Virginia and welcoming their parents and other extended families. And of course, preparing to begin all over again…

consume consume CONSUME!

One interesting result of only watching TV on very limited occasions (ie. in the laundry room) is that the ads seem to have become more salient to me. And by this I mean that I am noticing how incredibly contrived and obnoxious they are. At first I thought that there is this parallel universe out there were people just care so much about their stuff, like their possessions are the most important things to these people, who just can't get enough of talking about their newest lawn mower or fast food hamburger. Upon further reflection, I realize that these commercials don't really depict an alternate universe - just the United States. (OK sure, Canada is pretty much just as materialistic as the US, but the point I am trying to make here is that in the States, they take their consumption culture just a little bit further than their northern neighbors. For example, they seem to commodify everything - even health care and education).

But anyways, to further my newfound distaste for all things advertising, I ran across a couple of interesting articles. The first details a study that found children like food better if it comes in a McDonald's wrapper and the second discusses a new trend of designing ads that have nothing to do with the product offered, but are rather psychologically designed to capture people's attention (such as the dancing alien that is often used to advertise mortgage rates). And then there is this whole Baby Einstein case, where the ads a pretty much flat-out lies. I just think it is kind of sad that much of our academic studies in psychology are being put to use to sell the latest tennis show, which is 95% identical to its competitor.

But good news! There is a personal cure to such rampant commercialism: DON'T BUY CRAP THAT YOU DON'T NEED (and by this I include probably 3/4 of the stuff most Americans buy).

Whoah, got a little preachy there for a second. Sorry about that - I just get a little annoyed with society sometimes.