The Real Juiced

I must say that this spring’s softball season has been kind-of a disappointment. Not because our team is doing poorly (Section J has won both of our games so far), but because there have been so few games. I was, however, able get back out onto the field this Friday for my first game with that other team I’m on, the one from RELLS (Rex E Lee Law Society, named for a prominent LDS lawyer), and let me tell you, that was some game. We were up against what must have been the body-builders club at UVa Law, there were so many big guys on that other team. Seriously, I didn’t even know our school had such huge students. Perhaps they are going to be litigators and use their size as intimidation, because I sure know that when I took the field with the rest of our rag-tag team, I thought that we wouldn’t stand a chance. I was also worried that my Co-Ed pitching wouldn’t be up to the big leagues. Fortunately, though, it must have been enough, for we were able to snag a narrow victory when yours truly was able to hit a nice little grounder RBI in the bottom of the seventh. Now, I only mention this in the interest of reporting the facts, I would defiantly not think of myself winning the game for use—if anyone did that, it was the guy who hit us a home run every time he stepped up to the plate. A really fun game, all and all, and the first in the play-offs, which means that the our team, which has the unfortunate name of “Stone Cold Sober” (adopted without my vote) has made it to the second round. And were going all the way…

Other than softball, though, there really is not much more to say, school wise, unless you want to hear about my property outline. And for all of you that think that aversive possession or reciprocal negative easements sound a little bit interesting, I can assure you that it most definitely is not.

Instead let be say a few words about my second favorite subject: Indie Rock. Actually, now that I think of it, calling indie rock my second favorite subject like I just did makes it sound like Law School is my first favorite, so let me rephrase.

Instead, let me say a few things about a topic that I find infinitely more interesting than any kind of easement, reciprocal or otherwise: Indie Rock.

Back in 1999, when Billy Corgan announced the end of his band, the Smashing Pumpkins, announced his frustration with the pathetic state of popular music at the time, and said he was giving up the fight and allowing a new scene to start the next musical revolution. Well, since the Pumpkins are releasing their comeback album this July, perhaps he is sensing what I am: is the musical revolution now upon us? I direct you to the following observations: Last year, the Arctic Monkeys, a small indie band from the UK released the fastest-selling album ever in that country (yes, even faster than the Spice Girls). This year, various indie and indie-sounding bands like the Decemberists and the Shins have released very popular records, and in just this last month, the Arcade Fire’s new album debuted at #2 on the charts, and Modest Mouse, a long-time indie standard debuted at #1 (despite the fact that their new album is sub-par). All of this action suggests to me that the music industry is starting to over-turn itself again, vaulting indie stars into full fledged stardom, all during the same period when the major labels are facing continuing losses. Is it because music fans are finally fed up with being force-feed horrible pop tunes? Has the internet leveled the playing-field enough that smaller, but much more talented musicians are getting the distribution they deserve? I don’t know, but it is kind of exciting, and probably will continue to be so until the music industry picks up on this new trend and start manufacturing Arcade Fire rip-off bands and saturating the airways with mediocre approximations of the indie sound that is popularizing many of the smaller acts today.

And speaking of smaller acts making it big. My latest prophecy is that Canadian Indie Queen, Feist, is going to explode. Her new album (out on May 1st I believe) is great, and I can see her becoming a hit. Anyways, that’s what I think, and I hope I’m right


Right of Passage?

I have successfully completed another right of passage to become a member of that learned profession called lawyering by passing with colors that fly my very first oral argument. Now, the judges don’t actually give verdicts in the cases we argue, but between you and me, I would have to say that I totally won the case. Poor Ms Phillips (my opponent) didn’t stand a chance against my penetrating arguments and mastery of rhetoric that caused the panel to actually stand up and give me a standing ovation. One of them even offered me a clerkship in his court, which I politely refused.

Ok, the truth is there was no offer, no standing ovation, and my rhetoric may have been very slightly less than masterful, as demonstrated by the following, an actual (and by that I mean completely invented) quote from my presentation:

“Um… I’d like to… to begin…bydissscussingsomepointsmyopponentbroughtup… um… I… … …she said that the doctrines of necessarily appli… applied…to medical arbitring forms… uh, docutments…” and so on and so forth for another 14 min until that cube that I turned to after every sentence in the hopes that it would reveal that my time has become just one minute shorter.

Ok, the real truth is that it wasn’t even that bad. The quote I gave is pretty accurate represenation of the beginning of my presentation, but by the time the judges (or should I say judge, because pretty much the only one on the panel who asked questions was this one dillard who must have loved the sweet taste of power and took it upon herself to completely commandeer the bench with her just-too-harsh criticisms) began questioning the argument I had developed over the past few months, I shook off the nerves, imagined myself back in the seventh grade, trying to defend some ridiculous position I adopted simply because it was opposite to my friends’ views, and spoke up to protect my side of the case. Of course, I hope my responses were a little more sophisticated than they were back in 1994, or else I may have said something like:

“You say that Mr. Winter’s participation in completing the medical forms gave his wife implied agency?! Well, I say that your participation in questioning my brief gives you implied stupidness!”

I wonder why I didn’t make in onto my Jr. High debate team.

And in other news, I received word that I was not selected to be a Peer Advisor next year. I don’t really care that much, but I do wonder if their may have been a little discriminatory intent behind that decision—or at least some discriminatory effects. I mean, I did some research and no Canadians have served in the Peer Advisor program for at least 2 years! I think this is a direct violation of the equal protection amendment of the constitution (the 14th or 13th or something like that)! That’s right, and because this discrimination is based on race, I demand the strictest of scrutiny to sort this whole mess out. So, those PAs better have a very compelling end to deny me my life liberty or property, and their means better be narrowly tailored to whatever goal they have. All I know is that they better watch out, because Im going to go all Con Law on them, and I have just perfected my litigation strategy (see above). Oh, and just for the record, I don’t think I’ll ask for an injunction; damages will be just fine—about, say $35, 000 or so (what’s tuition next year again?)

So I wont be spending next year reliving my 1L glory days as a PA, (oh, how I miss those times). But I will get to spend my time fulfilling my new position as… drum roll… Health Law Association Co-President! That’s right, after a heated election full of scandals and a little back-stabbing, I emerged as the new (co) leader of the Free World (or at least the portion of the free world that is concerned with health law at UVa Law). So yeah, all you UVa friends, come on out to our Health Law activities—they’ll be health-law-tastic.


UVa the "Coolest" Law School in America? Is It Even a Question

Although I believe that the habit that many bloggers have of simply repeating what another (much more creative) author has posted is one that should be held as direct evidence of the copiers utter lack of originality and tact, I have decided after an intense wieghing of the pros and cons to point you all in the direction of another blog. But don't worry, it's for a good cause.

The blog, "Above the Law" is holding a march-madness to determine the coolest Law School in the country. Yeah, I know that when you hear that phrase, the image of UVa pops into your head faster than you can say "Pavlov," but I guess some people just want to make t official. So, naturally, UVa is in the finals, so I encourage everyone withing the sight of my words head over and vote.


(Sorry, I can't get the link to work, but you can just double-click the link, copy and then paste in your broser)


I Have Succombed to the Wiley Tempations of the Enemy of all Mankind

Ok, ok, I am late posting this week, but I have a good excuse: my life has been taken over by an insidious new technological innovation that has captured the heart of many of our unsuspecting youth. This horrible vice I am talking about is Facebook. Yes, I know, on my first post at this address I disavowed myspace as a horrible waste of time and vowed to myself to not spend another minute of my life on such vain pursuits. Yet here I am, mere months later, lured in by the silken cords of myspace’s older and only very slightly more mature, sibling. How did it happen, you ask? Quite unsuspectingly. I actually signed up months ago to check out some pictures that one of my classmates posted of our Halloween costumes. After seeing the pics, I left my membership stagnant until just a couple of days ago when I got an innocuous email from another section-mate, saying that he had added me as a friend on Facebook. Then the very next day, I was IMing with Danny H, and he brought out his Facebook page, so I added him as a friend as well. After this, friend requests started pouring in and I finally succumbed to properly creating my profile, most likely because I was so flattered by this attention I craved more. So now I am hooked—boiled like that frog who is placed in a pot of water whose temperature is unnoticeably increased. I feel so ashamed of myself.

Anyway, if you Facebook, lets be friends!

Other than this, my week has been pretty bland and uneventful. It is getting to the end of the semester, so I have decided to start clocking in longer hours, much to Theresa’s dismay. On the weekend, we headed down to Buena Vista to spend Easter with my Grandparents. So ya, fun. I really can’t think of much more to say… I guess that is what you get when you post out of a feeling of obligation rather than a deep love of the convoluted sentence.


America's Obesity Epidemic Seems More Plausible Now

This week was a busy one. So busy in fact, that I almost didn’t write a blog post. But I really couldn’t leave all you devoted readers who wait each week for my newest adventure down, so here is a quick rundown of the happenings at UVa, followed by a short filler in order to save this post from complete boringhood.

1. Admitted Students Weekend—Theresa and I had a great time at the BBQ, breakfast and picnic lunch. The way I see it, the weekend was just an opportunity to get some free food. Oh, and we did talk to a couple of potential students about how awesome this school is.

2. Virginia Softball Invitational—I volunteered to be a field marshal, which essentially intailed sitting and watch a couple of games, and calling in the score at the end. We also got to eat pizza at the info meeting and were given free tickets to the BBQ

3. Virginia Society of Law and Technology—presented a speaker who talked about current issues in patenting stem cells. Food was provided.

4. Rex E. Lee Law Society—invited Judge Griffith of the Federal Circuit, a prominent LDS lawyer to address us on the topic of Lawyers and the Atonement. Then we ate Ice Cream

5. Our Con. Law class attended a lecture on Originalism as a Political Practice and (you guessed it) a small reception with refreshments.

6. I applied to be a Peer Advisor, but they didn’t give me any food. One of the questions on the application form was to tell your life story in ½ a page. Well, for someone who has had such and exciting life and tends to craft sentences that sometimes exceeds ½ a page by themselves, this is not such an easy task. But I did manage to jot something down. Here it is:

On a cold and snowy fifth of May in Edmonton, while Mexicans were celebrating their victory in the Battle of Puebla, and my fellow Canadians were wondering why they live in a country that has cold and snowy days in May, I reluctantly entered this world a full two weeks late. I have since discovered reason enough to stay, and have continued here on earth for twenty-four years. During my life, I have had many career goals, which have included, but are not limited to the following: dinosaur hunter, firefighter, cowboy, astronaut, cowboy-astronaut, private eye, wildlife photographer, graphic designer, and Rock Star. Unfortunately, I came to realize I wasn’t nearly strong enough to fight fires and Jack Black’s School of Rock was still a few years away, so I abandoned my childhood ambitions and did what most other students do when they fail to achieve the career of their dreams: I applied to law school. While sitting in my dorm, pouring over practice LSATs and looking across the street at the very hospital where I came kicking and screaming into this world, I realized that my life had not taken me too far from home and decided to study law at the furthest school possible. The University of Southern Florida waitlisted me, so I came to Virginia. I am glad of this decision, though, since it was here where I finally discovered my true calling in life: to be a softball pitcher.

Also, when asked why I wanted to be a Peer Advisor, this was my response:

One of the reasons I want to be a Peer Advisor is to take upon myself the noble calling of helping mold the next generation of great legal minds in this country; so that I can one day read about a newly-appointed Supreme Court Justice and be able to proudly say: “I was her Peer Advisor.” I would probably then say something like, “I remember when Justice So-and-so first came to Virginia Law, she didn’t even know the difference between a Rule 11 Sanction and a 12(b)(6) Motion” at which point my audience, if they were lawyers, would burst out laughing, and if they weren’t lawyers, would role their eyes.