Proof that I cant find anything new to write about

As much as I would think that a publication that prominently displays a portrait of Thomas Jefferson on its front page would be a pinnacle of journalistic integrity, I have a few complaints about the Virginia Law Weekly’s coverage of the 1L softball tourney.

First of all, Around North grounds gave a thumbs up for section J’s beer pong exploits at on the field, and although it is well established that J’s talents are much more pronounced when it comes to throwing a ping-pong ball in order to drink oneself blatto as opposed to throwing a softball in order to make an out (especially when the latter is done after the former), I find it inaccurate to claim that our exploits made us the “(im)moral victors of the tourney, if not the best team,” when some un-named members of section J are really very moral and upstanding citizens who play beer pong purely for the sport of it—also, Section J was the best team out there.

Second complaint is concerning the article on the back page that reads: “The next game featured the crowd favorite and lovable underdog L.L.M. team against Section J, a team comprised entirely of American Bullys.” Well, it should be quite obvious to anyone reading this blog that Section J also includes at least one Canadian Bully. Also, I find it inaccurate to call the LLM team a crowd favorite when it was quite apparent that there wasn’t actually a crowd at the 9:00AM game, but we’ll let this one slide because the LLMs were a lovable team, and because there is nothing worse than one of those cynical people who spend their days writing angry letters to magazines for silly little misprints because they want to be the star at next weeks meeting of their grammar club (which, by the way is conspicuously lacking here at UVa Law; I mean, how am I supposed to respect an educational institution that doesn’t support at least one organization designed to extol the glories of prepositional phrases and almost unlimited use of my all-time favorite punctuation mark—the dash).