Happy Economy Day

I just read the other day that a Santa Clause was fired for saying 'Ho Ho Ho,' instead of what his employer wanted him to say: 'Ha Ha Ha.' First off, I think this whole Ho Ho Ho controversy is about the most ridiculous holiday scandal I have ever heard - doesn't the anti-Ho people realize that sometimes two words sound the same but have completely different meanings? If this keeps up, then well have to start talking about the Hoover Darn.

Secondly, our modern society has already tried to bleed out every Christian element from Christmas, which I always thought would leave us with a completely secularized and materialistic holiday season with the big man in red taking the place of the little baby in a manger. But with stories like these coming out, it seems like society has taken another step towards removing absolutely all meaning from the holiday seasoning by attacking Mr. Materialism himself: Jolly 'ol Saint Nick. Next thing we know, they'll be people complaining about Santa propagating anti-obesity stereotypes and Christmas trees contributing to global warming by furthering deforestation.

So lets just cut to the chase shall we: I propose that we remove all traces of Santa Clause, the Reindeer, Christmas trees and figgy pudding from this holiday season (as well as any religious undertones, naturally). And if you think this cleansing would completely derive us of everything fun about this festive season, don't worry - I've come up with a new theme that will still get all those shoppers hitting the stores: ECONOMY DAY!

That's right, I think December 25 should be a day where we can celebrate all the good that holiday shopping does for our economy, without having to worry about religious confrontations or insulting characters. So happy economy day everyone!