I have officially become mediocre. That’s right, I have now come down from my ivory pedicel, where I was fawned upon and looked up to with great envy, and begun to mingle myself with you common people. So yes, now is the time to take down your Randal posters (the one’s with me smiling and giving two thumbs up) and remove you “WWRD” rings. I am no longer one to be idolized. I just want to live a quite life now, eating frozen pizza and watching “Lost” in peace, like the rest of the simpletons in this world. (Yes, that’s right, I said that Lost is for simpletons—it really is a stupid show). I just hope that I will be able to shed my over-achieving ways enough to fit in with the regular people, but I guess they wont be to hard to fool.

So why this sudden change of ways? Well, grades came in. Yes grades. Law school grades. Lets just say that I have morphed from one of those kids who did hardly any work, and still got good grades to just about the opposite. But don’t get me wrong, I don’t have bad grades. I didn’t being this post with “I have officially become bellow-average.” I am average, just like 95% of UVa law. Or would it be 99%? Seriously, I think the entire range of UVa Law GPA are within half a grade point. And yes, I do fall within that 0.5. The good news is that when my classmates ask me what I thought of that last test while holding there B- papers in plain view, I don’t have to fein humility and reply with a simple “oh it was ok.” No, my humility will be real now. When I tell a fellow student that I thought such and such question was hard, I will really mean it. I fell liberated.

And there are other perks of being average too. I don’t have to worry so much about beating everyone else at board games (which is a good thing, because Theresa pretty much beats me at everything); I don’t have to put up with those pesky mensa advertisements (now if only I can figure out how to stop those credit card ads away; I swear I get at least one a day—what’s with this country); I can stop pretending to like those foreign movies and just enjoy some American classics, like Armegeddon, or Charlie’s Angles, or anything with Paris Hilton in it; I can; I can start farting and burping in public, I can support Alberta talent and begin listening to Nickelback. And best of all, I can stop worrying about my grammer (and my spelling), it will be great. That’s right! I just used a comma splice, and I don’t even care! I feel so free!

Now that I am mediocre, I feel like the possibilities are endless. I could be president! But, I think I’ll stick to more modest goals, and fight tooth and claw with all of the other average students at UVa Law for a summer job next year...

My mediocracy extends even to softball, if you can believe it. I mean, if you are going to be average, you better be average across the board. But lest you worry, my pitching has not taken a turn for the worse, but instead, I have left the mound behind for this summer season. That’s right: I am no longer a star pitcher, and am now an average first baseman/center fielder. All and all, it’ really great to try something new. Oh, and I officially take back any negative comments that I made about the organizers of the summer league. It turns out that the rumor I heard about staking the teams was just not true. The 3L teams are based on the states where the students will be working.

And in other news, now that the great majority of students are not infesting this here library, I have discovered that the TV room I pinned for is now largely empty. Yeah, but I don’t really go in there for my lunch breaks: what’s on at noon? I did see someone in there watching some sports talk show, but come on, Sports?! Hmm, maybe I might have to get into sports, now that I am your average Joe. I’ll have to spend my days chatting about what’s-his’name’s batting average, and pining over my teams latest loss (for, I can just tell that I would pick a bad team to cheer for). Aye. Anyways, I prefer reading magazines in the Klaus Reading Room. Not novels, or pretentious mags like “The New Yorker,” or anything, but mostly ones like Rolling Stone, which, by the way is not as ‘cool’ as you might think. And who do they think they are, trying to address topics like Global Warming and Politics. Can you imagine someone actually getting their political info from Rolling Stone? “I voted for Hilary because she digs the same bands as me! Carly Simons Rules!” (And yes, that is an accurate insult, I looked up Hilary Clinton’s musical preferences on her myspace page).

And I’ve started listening to Garner Andrew’s Podcast. Garner is the morning host from Sonic 102.9 in Edmonton. Its pretty much, like the coolest radio station ever! But really, it started out with 2 guys and an iPod in an old oil field trailer and a cheap radio transmitter and is now one of the biggest stations in Edmonton, at least amoung the young and hip crowd. I’ve added a link to his blog here.

I guess I should end this post. It is getting to be a little too long for such a run of the mill blogger such as myself.


Anonymous said...

Well it's about time you got off that pedistal, but what will your fans think?
Anyway it's good to be average, but please, for the love of all that is good and decent, NO NICKLEBACK! You can't have become that average. Besides Sonic doesn't play Nickleback. Well have fun with mediocracy, sounds like you have some good plans.

Anonymous said...

P.S. I think you should repost the podcast link for Garner Andrews, I couldn't get it to work and when I went through Sonic's home page it looks like it's a different address than you have. Just thought you'd like to know