Spring Break!!! Party!!!

Spring Break, Wooooo!

Time for sun, sand and drunken women mindlessly flashing passerbys, and the occasional cameramen shooting videos that include in their titles the words, ‘girls,’ ‘wild,’ and usually some sort of verb to connect them. So, being the wild type myself, I took my newly arrived wife off in search of topless women, or at least a few skimpy bikinis (and maybe some thongs for the misus). My search lead me to Colonial Williamsburg with my Grandparents, where I was hoping there might be some sort of “Hotties of the Eighteenth Century” colander being shot, but much to my dismay, it turns out that women in the 1700s had a tendency to not flash or wear bikinis, but rather suit up in floor-length dresses and bonnets. Not willing to let this temporary setback deter me, I started throwing beads at suitable patrons, hoping that, although it was neither Tuesday an I am not particularly fat, the ‘ol marti gras trick would be universally recognized enough to secure my desired results in the largest of the thirteenth colony. It isn’t. In a last ditch effort to see some action, I took the lead myself and started flashing tourists at the blacksmith and outside of the wheel maker’s shop, trying to get the ball rolling. Unfortunately, my public display was not well received and I was escorted at the point of a couple of plastic bayonets to the public goals, and tired alongside a suspected witch. The witch was found innocent when she was tossed into nearby lake and sank like a stone, but I found guilty creating a public mischief and indecent exposure of an ankle, wrist or midsection and was sentenced to three weeks in the stocks. Theresa was also found guilty of attempted conspiracy with a captured prisoner. The tale of my escape is a long and adventuresome one, but a magician never reveals his tricks and I will leave this part out of this tale. (And yes to all those who have picked up the references, I have been watching Arrested Development.)

Needless to say, by quest was never accomplished, and I was unable to appear in any videos with either ‘girls’ or ‘wild’ in the title. Some of my other failed attempts this week included trips to the downtown mall art galleries and used bookstores, playing Bocce at McIntire Park, Shopping at Short Pump and Target, hanging various pictures and artwork in our apartment (for some reason, Theresa preferred wedding pictures and framed art to tattered posters of Che Guevara) and Dining at The Cheesecake Factory and that Mexican place that I tried to convince Section J to try a few months ago. (And yes, it is by far the best Mexican food in Charlottesville—it’s called “Aqui Es Mexico” for anyone interested and is kind of tricky to find). Other than these notable bursts of excitement, spring break has been a pretty low-key holiday for the Miller household that involved plenty of lounging and absolutely no journal tryouts. (Why? Because I didn’t want to). As for school, I’m still plugging away. I am happy to announce that my summer plans are no longer a big, scary question mark in my future, for I have been offered a position as a research assistant with Professor Riley, whose research interest is in bioethics—the very field I am most interested in. So I’m very excited about that.

Good night and good luck,


Anonymous said...

Too bad about your lack of success with the beads and all. I know you had all your other spring break experiences in Edmonton but when they say this happens in the south, Virginia just isn't south enough. Better luck next year.