My Pre-Pre-Post

Ah Halloween, or, as at least one politically correct elementary school labels it, “storybook dress-up day,” the mother of all non-holidays, although that title was only awarded after it narrowly beat out Valentines Day in the swimsuit competition. I remember the days when Halloween meant dressing up in your costumes that had to be altered in order to fit over your snowsuit, and watching Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” on the CBC (Canadian Broadcast Co.) But times have changed from those carefree days, and for us here at UVa, Halloween seems to be an excuse for students to dress up in as little clothes as possible (girls and, unfortunately, guys), and my musical tastes are now more in line with the ensemble of Indie rock stars, who last year put out a hilarious and catchy song, “Do They Know it’s Halloween?” which I invite you to check out here:
  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgux6aGzb3k

  • As you could probably imagine, Section J did not spend Halloween weekend sitting alone in their homes, preparing outlines or catching up on missed torts readings. No, no, on Saturday the majority of my class went to not only the Halloween Party and the Pre-party, but also initiated their own Pre-pre-party. All this partying means, though, that I am far to tired to actually write out a bunch of sentences and paragraphs, so today’s entry will list in point form some highlights of the evening:

    Captain Planet- was the theme of my, as well as a group of my section-mates costumes. Coach Q was the captain and I was heart, even though, as Theresa so eloquently put it when I told her, “He’s the gayest one.”

    Jeff M. & Jeff S.-were the winners of section J’s Beer Pong tourney, narrowly preventing the title from going to a team who included an outside ringer.

    Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Iranian dictator- was my Beer pong teammate, and was creatively able to transform the normal cursing that accompanies beer pong like chewing tobacco accompanies Major League baseball into threats against Israel’s “Zionist Crusaders.” We made it to the semi-finals, mostly because I was able to aim the ball and Ahmadinejad was able to drink for two without even slurring his racial insults.

    Green Shirt- wins my vote for best costume. Now, I don’t even remember what his costume was, but I consider it the best merely because he chose it over the speedo he wore last year.

    The Guy in the Skeleton Costume- had the creepiest costume, not so much because his skeleton was very frightening, but because his persistant offer “Hey, do you want any candy,” was eerily similar to our lessons in elementary school about how to avoid pedophiles.

    The Hosts of the Pre-party- laid out a fine selection of treats, which was a welcome alternative to skeleton guy’s offerings.

    Tommy Train- was officially the first person to claim I was “robbing the cradle,” which refers to the fact that I married a 19 year-old girl who is more than four years my junior, and not at all referring to my habit of breaking into people’s homes and kidnapping their young children so I can train them to become an army of amazing tennis superstars.

    Vikas- was officially the first person to claim that I “could probably [sleep with] at least 10 girls tonight” (edited for content).

    Some guys from Section C-tried to get me to chug the contents of some large, glass bottle. Just in case anyone who reads this doesn’t know yet: I DON’T DRINK! This is because, as I have discovered some people still do not know, I am LDS.

    Charlottesville 1st ward (LDS congregation)- put on a great, yet paradoxical non-trunk “trunk-or-treat” and chili cook-off on Friday, even though the rain ruined the original plan.

    Section J- put on a great, and only slightly parodoxical, bowling activity for the kids Saturday morning after their original idea of baseball was ditched because not a single child participated in the original event

    That kid who, instead of bowling normally, ran up to the pins and knocked them all over with his hands- was able to successfully execute the strategy that got me banned from my bowling league last year.

    Well, that's all that I want to write at this time. All and all, a killer Halloween, complete with a tonne of candy, which I did not get from trick-or-treating, trunk-or-treating, and especially not from skeleton guy, but from, after carefully looking in both directions, stuffing handfulls of the pre-party's goodies into my pockets (hey, if everyone else gets to poision themselves with alchohol, at least let me do it with suger and saturated fat).

    Untill next year...


    Tom said...
    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
    Tom said...

    I think I forgot to convey the self-deprecating irony in my "robbing the cradle" remark. That circumstance of a 4 year age differential is hardly a Canadian phenomenon, but instead is also shared by the current relationship of one Thomas Train.

    Vikas said...

    Randall, I don't remember making said comment. I guess you'll have to fill me in.