He Poos What?

If there is anyone out there who has realized that joking about the metric system or how Canadians supposedly have an innate tendency to tack the word “eh” at the end of their sentences hasn’t really been humorous for at least 64 years, and are looking for a new way to make fun of Canada, but just cannot think of anything because, lets just face it, Canada is pretty much amazing in every way, have I got the news for you. Last week, Canada handed out its prestigious Polaris Music Prize (think “Canada’s version of the Mercury Prize in the UK,” which, by the way, thankfully did not go to Thom Yorke’s disappointing album that sounded like it was made on his Commodore 64), and the winner was an album called “He Poos Clouds.” That’s right, Canada’s most prestigious music prize went to an album called “He Poos Clouds.” How can anyone take us seriously now? I can just imagine our ambassador trying to make a passionate speech at the UN about Venezuela’s abuses in the Oil industry, and Hugo Chavez could easily rebut any of our arguments by saying, “At least we don’t Poo Clouds!” At which point, the entire auditorium would burst out laughing, and poor Canada would have to spend his lunch hours crying in the handicap stall in the washroom.

Anyway, since I have now probably convinced everyone that the Canadian music scene is completely laughable, I have decided to post a quick list of some good Canadian Indie Rock for you to download—legally of course, we don’t want anyone to be breaking any copyright laws because of me (American copyright laws, that is, because unauthorized music downloads are legal in Canada—just another reason why Canada is amazing). Oh, and by the way, “He Poos Clouds” actually is a good album by a band called Final Fantasy.

Randal’s List of Awesome Canadian Cuts:
1. Broken Social Scene—Anthems for a Seventeen-year-old Girl
2. The Arcade Fire—Rebellion (Lies)
3. Alexisonfire—No Transitory
4. Bedouin Soundclash—When the Night Feels my Song
5. Death From Above 1979—Romantic Rights
6. Feist—Mushaboom
7. Hot Hot Heat—Five Times Final
8. Neverending White Lights—The Grace (ft. Dallas Green)
9. The New Pornographers—Mass Romantic
10. Stars—Ageless Beauty
11. Wolf Parade—Shine a Light
12. Sunset Rubdown—Stadiums and Shrines
13. Metric—Monster Hospital